11:49 p.m. - 2012-08-29
When I'm up I can't get down...
I am up North, with Biba and her cousin, at my Parents' house. For whatever reasons, the iPad thinks that they ought to be capitalised like that, perhaps because they have been saints.

We've been doing lots of fun things, like the beach, baking, films, picnics...and there is more to come. It has been a good place and time to sort of unplug from reality.

I feel as if I am sloooowly recovering from The Sitch. I mean to say, I am glad that I am not there anymore, but it does take a bit of getting used to, and then there is the Uncertain Future upon which to dwell.

Nights are the hardest. I miss Ned terribly. And each day, a face from Orkplace who is no longer there will come to mind, and I cannot help but grieve...for them, and for an Orkplace that no longer has them there. I wouldn't want to go back, not without them. They said to us on That Day "It isn't performance related. We're not cutting dead wood, we're cutting muscle and bone." They were cutting heart, actually.

Today it was GW, who organised the Take Your Child to Work Day. In addition to her workload, she and her team organised a bang-up day for the children, since Orkplace no longer hosted it. Orkplace cut so much, year after year after year...I suppose one might have seen the signs.

I think that in my heart I was ready for this.Even though it was a surprise, I was ready. Looking back, I can see how the tension etc. Was Affecting me. I think that I have made much emotional progress, but if I check back in half a year, I might think differently.

I walk the dog at night and shed a few tears and then just get on with it. This is a good place to do that. The girls are just the goofiest, funniest, best girls ever. I am lucky not to have to do this alone...and my parents truly hae been a major support through this.

Things like this really let you know who your friends are. Earl has not once initiated contact. I suppose I ought not to be surprised. But some truly amazing people have shown solid concern and support and for that I shall never forget
them.

Now it is time for a mah-johnng marathon! May the best Fifi win!

Cavalry - Apache