6:30 a.m. - 2007-06-16
Sadding, anxiously
Today's google terms? "Dinna yap" and "loquatious". Anyone sense a theme there?

Sorry I didn't update last night, but Ned and I had some time alone together so...nyuk...nyuk...nyuk. Wink wink.

I am having a desperately hard time holding it all together these days. I truly thought that I was on the brink of a nervous breakdown yeasterday. Not that I'd know what one feels like. I feel as if I don't have the right to feel horribly sad and anxious, for no apparent reason. I feel as though I am only marginally in control, baby-stepping from one task to the next, concentrating fiercely so that I don't break down weeping into a quivering pile of useless protoplasm. I truly hope that this passes soon.

Today I shall do loads of volunteer work, then go to the spa, then decide what I really want to do. I need something that will give affirmation or something like that. Yesterday's was clearing an enormous patch of the meadow with a scythe! It was actually really huge gardening shears, and the patch was smaller than all that, but the grass was indeed thigh-high!

Cavalry - Apache