6:59 a.m. - 2010-02-20
Boum!! Craaash!
I went to sleep veree early last night. Really, I have got to make it a priority to get more sleep. I don't know why I seem to refuse to go to bed. Still, we can all change habits. It is simply a matter of persistence...and ability...and will...or won't...

So when I woke up this morning, I felt that I'd go back to sleep, but then the lure of time alone called. Not that I am always a loner, but it is far easier to write an entry when one is not doing 12 other things at the same time. Also being sober helps a lot!

Remember my fav-o-riffic fish market from the Summer? It turns out that they go to a Winter Farmer's market in the next town over. I am so there today! I have a few other things to do as well. I have a yellow legal pad out on the table at my place with a list scrawled on to it. Of things to do. And the list does grow...

In a saddish vein, I have a friend who is VEREE unhappy. She wants to do one thing, but life requires another thing. It affects the marriage. When one partner acts unsteady, the other partner is bound to get insecure. And if that insecurity triggers off rage in the party of the first, it gets allll complicated. I do know what advice that I would give, but I am afraid that it would not be well received.

The thing is, when we enter in to some thing like a contract, be it marriage, parenthood, mentoring, a job, we have certain responsibilities that we are agreeing to fulfill. (Whether or not we are aware of them.) However, there has got to be a way to balance those responsibilities with the nurturing of the self. But it can not be all one or the other or else one has an invalid contract and a lot of unhappy people. But really, sometimes one has to give up things, things of the self, in order to help others, or to maintain the peace or balance. It is simply true, even though it is not always a pleasant, happy truth.

Also-time is not static. When Biba was a baby (oh! that was fun to say) there was a lotLotLOT less that I did for me. And that is how it should have been. Although I do tend to give too much, but that is because I am freakishly strong and also my priorities are different than most. Plus, contrary to my personal belief, I have tons of patience. So the wee point is that sometimes one has to give up things for others. Not all of the things, and not forever, but sometimes, one has to do the giving up. At other times, one will be the taker, but again, not all of the time.

Making an abrupt turn...have I mentioned that I spend the majority of downstairs time (when I am sitting still) in the dining room? We have a floor plan that goes Parlour-dining room-cuisine/kitchen all in a row. Also with open wall plans. I do like the little old farmhousen with all of the little rooms with doors on them, but this is less claustrophobic. At any rate, when I am not at the computer, I am sitting at my place at the table. I apparently am not a parlour-sitter. This might be odd, but so am I!

Now I am off for a day filled with fun and frolic. Oh, who am I fooling?! I am going back upstairs for more lovely, lovely sleep!

Ecks Oh!

Cavalry - Apache