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7:04 p.m. - 2009-07-22
Those little parenting moments...
...sneak up unexpectedly...then clobber you!

So.

The other day, a week ago or so, Biba mentioned that she reeeaally wanted a red pair of swim goggles. I pointed out that she had already two pair, but that goggles sometimes don't last a full Summer, so if either pair broke, we would see about a new pair. Biba agreed and I didn't think any more of it.

Yesterday or the day before, she told me that a pair had broken. It was just the strap come undone, so I fixed it.

Today on the way home, Biba mentioned that her goggles had broken again and that she really needed goggles because her eyelashes get all tangly when they are wet. It's true----she has the longest, thickest eyelashes that you've ever seen. Second only to Ned's.
So I said that we'd fix them if we could and if not, we'd see what they had at the Consumer Value Store. (CVS)

When we got home, I took a look at the goggles and my heart sank. (You've probably all seen this coming, I'll wager!) Both pair of goggles had been systematically taken apart.

Sigh.

How did I handle it, you ask! Well, I'll tell you.

I asked Biba if she had broken them on purpose and predictably she denied all knowledge. I told her that she wasn't going to be in big trouble but that she HAD to tell me the truth. Finally she growled "Oh allll right, I did it." So I said that it was good to tell the truth, and that in the future, she would get in more trouble for lying than for doing whatever bad it was. Then I told her that she wasn't actually in trouble but that I was very disappointed in her and that I had to take some time to think about what to do.

Here is the plan. I will fix the goggles if I can. (I had mentioned that I thought that she ought to go without goggles to learn the lesson, but that I wasn't going to go that way.) Then I explained that she had never done anything like this before, so she really didn't know what was going to happen. We would see what CVS had to offer and if there were no red goggles then too bad, she would take what was there. And Ned added that Biba was to finance USD3 of the price.

Whaddya know, Fifi can actually parent without dramatics and scenes and violence. (That is what I had...) I have to admit, when I first saw the goggles my first thought was "Oh crap, and I'm the Mum..." You know, because I'd have to deal with it. I just want to be so careful with Biba. I want to teach her well, without making her feel like a shameful prat, but without being all meeky-cheek and "oh that's all right we'll just buy new" because that kind of parenting secretly enrages me. Well, not so secretly anymore now that I've put it all out there.

It's true though, I have issues with other people's (perceived by me to be shitty) parenting. People are all so shocked by Biba's politesse, but if that is so shockingly wonderful and you wish that your children would be like that, why then, have you not taught them? Why do you let your child hit you and then just shrug and wonder why? I've seen it! Conversely, you don't want to beat the spirit out of your child, nor out of anyone, for that matter.

SO.

So I sent Ned and Biba out for a Dad/daughter dinner out as they have to run a Very Important Errand anyway. So everybody wins.

Oh. Later. In the editing process, (you know, when I was fixing my zubillion typos) our friend Harald came over, so we fixed the goggles, both pair. When Biba and Ned came home, we showed Biba, who to her credit mustered up an appropriately cheerful "Thank you!".

That is all. Because we had Dansk Mjod and Paddy's. Rahther a lot. And it is humid. So...y'know...


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