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9:20 p.m. - 2009-07-16
This might come as a shock...
...but it seems that I am not actually perfect!

Well, tonight after Ork, I had a Meltdown. I felt so intercoursing inadequate in every way and on every level. I even told Ned that he would be better off with someone else, that he deserved better than me/I.

Sometimes I just get overwhelmed. I work so Intercoursing hard all of the time and sometimes a bit of positive feedback would be so bloody welcome. Sometimes I think that I am just the Personal Slave and the Service Mule. (That is how it translates...)

The thing is, is that I have impossibly high standards for myself. Ned periodically reminds me of this. I said that maybe he could sing out "Lower the bar, lower the bar!" when I get like this.

It seems that no one can be stellar in all areas. But INtercourse it all, I can still jolly well try, can't I? (That should be read mockingly...)

Ned even said that even if he were to, but of course he would never, look for someone else better he knows that he's never to find her because she is me. I am going to have to hang on to that like a lifeline.

I know, silly soddy me, what have I ever got to feel inadequate about? Don't I indeed Have It All?

And it was a stupid thing that set me off. Most women would blame their hormones but I have to be way above that, don't I? I was cleaning out the refigerator when Ned came home. I told him it was a refrigerator full of my bad ideas. Ned thought that having a refrigerator full of ideas whether they be good or bad, was a cool and fun thing. I'll never be able to express how much I treasure Ned.

It irks me to say it but it seems that every time I do something human, I feel ashamed of it. I wonder why that is. Perhaps because I am a rigid control freak?

And Pee Ess, Don't you just love that word "rigid"?


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