9:20 p.m. - 2008-05-20
Yikes!!! (Prophetically typed before things got even yikier!)
So, you know how I can bring out the worst in people? I was talking with the director/directrice of Biba's school and mentioned how I had heard that one of Biba's former teachers had a baby now. The way the big D's eyes opened up...then the conspiratorial leaning in...I knew that there was something meow. HAH! I wrote "meow" instead of "more" which seems oddly apropos. Yes, I got the big D to spill. We'll call the teacher...uh...J, as there is no time for a naming contest so I just plonked my finger down on the keyboard.

J was Biba's teacher as a teacher's aide, mmm...must have been nigh on two years past. She was a tall, pretty girl, strongly built, and she was wonderful with the children. She was the one who reminded me that Biba was no longer a baby but a very little girl, who needed to do Girl Things, not Baby Things. I don't know how her troubles started, or even if they were ongoing at the time, but she got disowned by her parents (do they even do that anymore?!) and apparently she moved down to a city, not The City, and she...got a pimp. Yes. She became a prostitute and a...dancer. We're not talking the Russian ballet. Which I suppose is all fine but it didn't seem like that was her career goal. She had a baby by her pimp and is now again pregnant.

How do things like this happen? She was going back to school ad was going in to teaching and ...geh! What happened? Is she happy? Is she healthy? Is she safe? Don't her parents care? Of course they do, they must. It most have been Tough Love.

I just don't know what to say about that. Could I have helped? Should I have known?

Switching fronts abruptly, I got tons done today---oh wait, Biba is calling, I'll be back soon.

OH CRAPPO!!! I just went up to check on Biba as she was yelling and all, you know, Mummy, I have to talk to you. Guess what about. Seems another (former) teacher saw fit to tell the children all about where babies came from. As Biba said--The SEVENTH Grade version! Niice! What kind of a monkey circus are they running there?! I told Biba plainly, in 5-year-old amounts of knowledge, where babies come from. She was talking about the "stuff that comes out of the peashoot" and also how if there are two mums then you go to the doctor "to get the stuff" you need. guh-RAAAY-ate! (That is a very sarcastic "great")

I told her about birds and how mammal eggs are much smaller and about where they are stored, and then there was the garden and seed bit. I explained that if you have a seed and just keep it on a table, and don't water it, you'll never get a plant. And how correspondingly the eggs that the mum has need something that comes from the man. I debated, but did tell her the proper name for it. Sperm. And I said "SO...Mr. Marvin said that it came from the peashoot?" "And Mummy, remember it is called a penis also" (I told her that.) So I told her that it took a special kind of a hug, but that it came from love. Because that is what she needs to hear right now. And that it is all natural even though it might sound strange. You know, before I told her, I said "I'm giving you the kindergarten version, because that is a lot to think about and I want to be sure that you get it straight." Also the usual caveats about please ask questions and all that. This must have occurred months ago and she never said one word to me. And I was very unprepared. I told her that as she got older I would tell her the more complicated version, but right now, this was all she really needed. I really don't get the sense that Biba was traumatised or disgusted in any way. Because there really is nothing traumatic or disgusting about it. I'd just like to have been the one to tell her first. She used to say that she didn't like him ( Mr. M) but because he MADE them play footie even when they'd rahther be doing something else. And he only wanted boys on his team. Well, he had a major lack of discretion, but I don't get the sense that any harm was done. Education was started a bit sooner, I suppose. Biba and I had already touched on the subject earlier when she had questions. I just want to make certain that I do a good job, and don't confuse her. I still say "DAMN you Marvin, could you no' ha'e left it to the parents?!!" He deffo told too much information for a 5-year-old to understand. Biba is resiliant though, and I think that telling her straight-out and matter-of-factly really is the only way that I would do ever.

Still---these parenting moments. Who would have ever guessed that I would ever be someone's parent? Aren't you supposed to be a responsible human being before that happens?

Pee Ess. I had to have my Gran explain about the birds and the bees. I knew all about the sex and all that, but well...I never understood where birds and bees fit in. I was in my twens...

Cavalry - Apache