8:41 p.m. - 2008-03-27
This is probably controversial...
Apparently I am having a majorly sleepy week. And a dull one as well. I can't think of a thing to say. I just stared vacantly at the screen for well over a minute. I'm surprised that there wasn't drool...

I was reading Alexa at Flotsam who has had the most difficult time lately and has a very small early baby that we are all rooting for. That means to cheer on, I'm fairly certain. Reminds me of truffle hunting, though... Well, apparently there are some Child-Free Baby Haters who have written terrible things about her and her baby. Not what she needs right now.

Let me state clearly---You do NOT need to have children to have a meaningful life. You absolutely do not. You do not need to be married or even pair bonded to have a meaningful, rich and productive life. This is as close to an Iron Clad Truth as I have ever discovered. I stand by my statement on this firmly. And I might add that parenthood is a lot different than I had imagined. Very rewarding, but sometimes just bloody difficult. Always worth it, but I am not always proud of my (lack of) parenting skills. So why would I ever think that I had the right to judge people who did not make the same choice as I did? And Pee Ess, I deffo know my limitations, so I do think that Biba will be an only.

So...why do some of the childfree (CF) seem so obsessed and jealous of children? I do think that there is a difference between childless by choice, and childfree with venom. I have read probably too much of the CF sites these past three days so that I could base my opinions on things from their sites, not just hearsay. The largest sliver of the pie chart seems to be people who have a problem with inconsiderate, uneducated oblivious people. It is easy to target those with children, but for every example that I read, I could match up to behaviour identical but made by childless people. Not that I couldn't empathise. Some examples would make me extremely frustrated as well. The next largest slice seems to be people with unresolved issues from childhood, usually being cruel treatment at the hands of an adult, be it a parent, a teacher, what-have-you. Then there seem to come the ones who truly seem obsessed with children. These tend to be mean-spirited as well as foul-mouthed. Their presentation makes it difficult to take them seriously. Then there is the last, and they seem to be truly decent people who have had random really annoying encounters with children. They don't seem to hate children in particular, but just are not interested in them ( which is fine) and feel irritated when many are forced upon them. So they are not all a bunch of horrible people. They seem very frustrated, for the most part. But I think that the reason is the breakdown of common courtesy that is unfortunately all too common these days.

Which leads to---I can see where much of that frustration comes from. But it is not just children to blame, frankly it is disinterested/oblivious/overwhelmed parents who are a problem, from what I read. I can truly sympathise with those who have gone to dinner and had it ruined by obstreperous children and doormat parents. Rest assured, we know better than to put Biba in a situation where she might end up acting up, whether in public or at home. If she ever caused a scene in public, she would be immediately removed from the scene. At home we would explain to her what went wrong and give her a chance to discuss the situation and learn from it. Because what good does yelling do, and hitting? RIGHT out! But Biba has to understand why certain behaviour is unacceptable, or else how can she ever learn to behave appropriately? Why would we want to set her up for failure? And we deffo wouldn't want to deny her personhood and treat her like a blob. That is so wrong. We don't treat her as a mini-adult, because she isn't one. She is a child, and she depends on us to teach her right from wrong.

HOWEVER!! If you truly hate children with the burning fire of a thousand white-hot suns---stay away from "family friendly" places. Realise that public places are not yours alone, nor theirs. I know which places that Biba can handle, and where not yet. I will correct trespassing behaviour, but I will not crush her spirit. If she is at the playground and you don't like it, that is too bad.

Really, we ALL would do well to respect the rights of each other. We all could remind ourselves to be civicly ( oh HOW do I spell that word?! Civically, I think...) responsible and civilly considerate of each other. The problems and solutions lie within us all. Personal responsibility and consideration (practised by all) would go a long way toward a happier world.

Cavalry - Apache