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6:28 a.m. - 2007-11-29
Hello, I am completely neurotic, inching closer to insanity.
I can tell you what the worst nightmare is, because I dreamed it last night/early this morning. The worst in the world is that your child dies because of your actions. I wont get into any more detail, but let me assure you, I am a wreck this morning, actually I just burst into tears again. I wonder how I'll make it through the day. I woke at 2:12 a.m. in a heartpounding panic and anguish. I went right in to check on Biba, who actually woke up and gave me a hug. (I had to take out a baby doll that was cramping her head up.) Yeah, it was supposed to be a bee. But it turned into her. I know that it was not life, it was a dream, but I sincerely hope that Dream Biba is alive and well somewhere. I have got to get my act together. This morning, I am not hungry.


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